[ Sonia is just on her way back from the library, arms full of papers of notes (for the same thing, actually, ideas on ways that might offer Graham treatment) to the point that her arms are aching from how much she's got piled up. While she had kept studying (because everything constantly evolves especially when it comes to medicine and languages) she has had 3 years of her own of being controlled and brainwashed and it's taking some effort to recall everything. At least this gives her focus. Gives her a purpose, because she knows only too well how hard this can all be.
She's walking down the hall when she sees Haise, carrying the tray in his hands. ]
Ah! Good day... are you going somewhere?
[ It's hard to say if he's just heading back to his room, but there are too mugs on his tray... ]
[Hearing her greeting, Haise halts where he is, turning to face her with an easygoing smile. His attention flicks briefly to the stack of papers in her arms, but it quickly returns to her face. It seems Sieglinde isn't the only heavy note-taker among their ranks]
Good to see you, Sonia. [The return greeting naturally comes with good cheer] I was just going to stop in and check on Sieglinde...she shoulders a considerable amount for just one person, and I know she tends not to complain of it.
[Much less ask for assistance, or accept it. He found it a marvel that she'd actually reached out to people earlier, and naturally was glad for it, but he knows that she's not reaching out for everything she could use]
in b4 it just looks like we're logging in sieg's inbox--
[ Her hand jostles the papers a little, pulling them up against herself. Her other hand reaches to push hair behind her ear, but she does smile back at him. ]
It seems like she does, yes. If... you do not mind might I join you? I will need to leave these in my room, but I can catch up if necessary. It will only take a moment.
[ Because she knows that at times she wishes someone would peek past the mask she puts up to offer a hand like this, and if she can help in anyway she can--she will. ]
I have an idea that may work to help her relax.
we gonna bring the log at sieg...in her inbox...yes...
Two heads are better than one, as they say. I'd welcome the help...since I'm pretty sure she won't.
[Haise says this with the same easy smile, like he's commenting about the weather. The fact of the matter is that Sieglinde can be quite stubborn with regards to shows of personal weakness or even emotion, and that may well be owed to her upbringing and the era from whence she came...but that doesn't mean it's right.
It also doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be given support, especially when she's given so much to others a freely as she has]
I understand. [ Sonia's smile softens though, because she Gets It. ] She probably expects it is for the best.
[ She gives him a small nod. ]
I shall not be longer than a few minutes.
[ In fact, she doesn't say goodbye or anything and instead runs back towards her room instead. It's hard with all the papers she doesn't want to lose, but she only needs to drop them on her desk and grab the blanket after quickly folding it up.
She's a little breathless when she makes it back to him, blanket tucked in her arms this time. It's the same one she spent most of her money on in Perdition's Rest, the most expensive in the store at the time probably because it had travelled with them. ]
Welcome back. [Said with a small nod of his head, as his hands are occupied with the tray. He takes note of the blanket but doesn't comment on it. Perhaps later, since it is a handsome thing, but they have a mission ahead of them] It's this way...
[Haise turns then, guiding them along to Sieglinde's room. It's not very far from where he'd been waiting for Sonia. Once they arrive, he passes the tray to one hand so he can knock on the door, mentally noting that he'll need to fetch another mug.
At least with Sonia here, he can be sure he can get back into the room once he's done that]
Sieglinde, are you busy?
[To be fair, he wasn't a total liar about the nature of his visit...he did write down questions about how to take care of the gift she'd given him]
[At first, it might seem as if Sieglinde doesn't plan to answer the door, and only silence greets the two (liars!) guests. Until a small crash, maybe something metallic, shuffling, and then the door is open, revealing a Sieglinde very different from the one they'd last seen at the ball, even the network post. Far more towards... emotionally numb and haggard than dolled up and in relatively decent spirits.]
Why must you continue to ask me foolish questions, Haise, I am always-
[Halfway through her complaint, though, Sieglinde realizes they aren't alone, stumbling to a halt and just. Staring until she comes up with something to say.]
[ Sonia briefly glances back towards Haise when the door opens and Sieglinde starts to get a little snappy with him. She doesn't say anything though, and instead gives the other girl a soft smile. ]
I met with Haise on the way here and thought it might be a good idea to watch something together. You may not be aware, but there is a new "app" on the magitek. I would like to introduce you to it. I also believe I made a promise to introduce my friends as well, though I think they are still napping now. The library seems to tire them out more than expected.
[Sieglinde's current condition appears to confirm what Haise had suspected, though he isn't about to comment on that. Instead he waits for her to finish, only for that to be curtailed by her notice of Sonia. Maybe he should've let her know that someone would be joining them, but...at least the two are acquainted.
He glances Sonia's way when she explains, and now he know what her idea was. It seems like a good one, something that provides Sieglinde with company and a distraction, which both look like something that she could use right about now.
Granted, they'll have to see if she'll go along with it]
A new app, huh...
[He's not sure what kind of feature it is, but it could work]
[If this was some sort of joke in their worlds, Sieglinde really doesn't get it.]
... I am afraid no matter what one can now view on the magitech, I am far too busy to waste time at the moment.
[If this had been before she'd walked in to Masamune's room, excited to show him the spell she'd been working on only to find it empty, the man who had been the most important person to her in the Outside World transferred, perhaps it would have been easier to sell her on entertainment... but.
There was only one thing she'd learned from birth that was a sure way to avoid falling into despair, and that was consuming one's life with work.]
I am also too busy to waste time on intricate tricks...
[That's for you, Haise. Was this some weird elaborate ruse?]
[ Jokes no longer exist in her world, all that seems to breed is despair. You wanna talk about it Sieglinde, live in a place that struggles to compute any other emotion. Now-- ]
That is quite alright, I am able to go through what I found in the library earlier as well, if necessary.
[ Sonia's own lack of sleep is covered with the make up she received last month, but she'll run out eventually. Sadly for Sieglinde, she does not look her normal self at all. Not like the ball, not like the post. Sonia hums softly as she holds onto the edges of the blanket and lets it drop. ]
You should at least keep warm while you are working, it is better for the circulation.
[ The way she carefully avoids Haise's tray to shift the blanket around Sieglinde is gentle, and she tugs it around her until it's closed at the front. ]
[Haise moves aside to allow some space when Sonia wraps the blanket around Sieglinde. It's a good idea, and he's glad to have her along. By now he's familiar with how singularly focused their young teammate gets when she's engaged in her work, often to the exclusion of all else.
This time, as with Zeta-12, it seems like a way to distract herself, productive as it may be]
I did bring a list...but it also occurred to me that you might accept a snack.
[He lowers the tray enough for Sieglinde to see that he at least delivered on his word there. It's true that he had every intention of trying to help her work through the loss of a teammate, but he thinks she was aware on some level that he was going to try. Her suspicion suggested that much to him, anyway]
Not having expected to suddenly have a blanket draped on her, Sieglinde freezes in consternation, brow furrowing in a look Sonia may not yet recognize, but Haise may be familiar with. For eleven of her twelve years of life, Sieglinde was treated as an adult- never coddled or allowed to give in to emotion or childish whims that would interfere with duties and responsibilities befitting a far older woman... and for her year in ALASTAIR, she has hardly ever been afforded what to her seemed to be the same respect.
Though she tries to give a modicum of it herself, even with the thin thread that is her patience since her discovery of a certain samurai's absence. She waits to appraise the food she was being offered before she haltingly removes the blanket and begins refolding it.]
... Princess Sonia. I do not know if the culture of your country is simply different than mine own, but I do not need to be tucked in at my doorstep.
[The Green Witch was occasionally something like a different entity, with a different stance and voice, and Sieglinde straightens slightly, looking the both of them in the eye.]
I also do not need this... front. If you've intentions, do unmask them.
[You showed up with a movie, a woman, blankets, and food, Haise- of course she suspects.]
[ It isn't what she'd intended by her actions, however, which is why she sighs softly. ]
Sieglinde, you should be aware that is not my intention. [ Her own voice is actually a tad colder than either have heard from her before. ] After all, I am more familiar with the customs you are familiar with than many others. It is a scientific fact, and I am asking as a friend that you take this for the time being. It is more comfortable than the sheets that ALASTAIR have given us and warmer.
[ Her voice softens a little after that. ] You also promised to show me the results of your bloodwork on Graham, I would like to collect that information as well. I hope you did not forget?
[ No matter what Sieglinde might put her stance into, Sonia is sadly used to being top of the heirarchy that she'll even add this on if she has to. It isn't a lie, and actually it would help her considering she just took a bunch of notes back to her room. Once she's done here she can go over what she's researched already even if it comes to naught. ]
[Intent was a tricky thing- and occasionally, even if Sieglinde might be able to perfectly read her partner's internal motivations, actions that appeared condescending still galled. And Sieglinde did not stop finding up the blanket to the original shape it had held, calmly offering it back.]
Then I must thank you for the sentiment, but I assure you if I were cold I would wear a coat. This fabric looks very flammable.
[She's starting to get that itch at the nape of her neck- the one that forewarned her when Olivia was going to start talking about relying on each other and feelings, or when Haise was going to start waxing poetic about the virtues of love over superior procreation. She casts a glance his way, but unless he says something to change her mind-]
Do wait here and I shall retrieve them for you. Haise, perhaps I should take your notes and I shall return them answered in due time?
[It's going about as well as Haise might've expected, but it doesn't mean he's going to stop trying. Sieglinde is strong-willed, which is both a strength of hers and something anyone of differing opinion will inevitably end up grappling with. Considering the sorts of things that he's faced, and all she's done for him, he isn't about to give up quite that easily]
I think you know already. [Still, if she wants to hear it-] But just after enlisting help, it looks like you've mired yourself in work again, after losing someone I know you care about. In times like that...there's a benefit to having others around. If you push yourself aside enough times, it adds up, and one day, even work won't be enough to make you forget.
[Sieglinde's itch wasn't wrong, but at least Haise can speak of this matter from experience and not theory. He's spent so long denying his feelings to himself, more than anyone else, tamping them down and ignoring them and imagining something better. Now that he's had his time away from the stresses of his own reality, he can see it more clearly]
Maybe...maybe I can't help you with your work. But I can be there, and I know that working with a clear mind is better than doing so with a troubled one.
[ She takes the blanket quietly, her head still tilted a little up, her eyes do shift back towards Haise. Sentiment is not something is allowed for someone like Sonia or Sieglinde, she knows that all too well. You have to do your job first and foremost, block everything out so your duty can be fulfilled. At least, that is the impression she had on the other girl, that she's been raised in the same kind of conditions that don't let you get used to this kind of contact. ]
I would like to add something to that. [ Her fingers dig into the blanket. ] You are working to help both yourself and others here, correct? Should you block people out entirely, how will you know what they need help with? [ Her face softens into a smile. ] People of our status are to remain distant, yes, but still approachable. No matter how we feel. I had thought that being around someone who understood better than most would be of use, perhaps with a distraction a little lighter so you may sleep soundly tonight. It is what I do before falling asleep now the option is available.
[Sieglinde doesn't like being chastised, being lectured, or... really, being denied anything. She had been raised without parents, given reign over a manor and a village, and as long as she continued her work on the Ultimate Magic... she was allowed to do it in whatever way she pleased.
But Olivia's words, for some reason upset with her, (probably for another of her failings, failing to understand friends), are ringing in her ears still, and Sieglinde tries to pause. Closes her eyes. Inhales. Exhales.]
... so the both of you think that your presence will somehow allow me to work better? Somehow make up for Masamune's transfer?
[One of the benefits to growing up in a village like she had was that no one had ever left. No one had ever died. She'd never had to deal with things like loss, before ALASTAIR, before Gilgamesh, before... Masamune.
Didn't know what one was supposed to do with the gaping hole in her heart. Didn't know why people kept saying they could do something about it, when they weren't him.]
[Haise can't argue that he's been in a position quite like either of them. While he's been treated as property, he's had success in getting others to see him as human, even if he counts among the sort of creatures he and his associates fight against. He's sought connections and tethered himself to reality through them...
And though he doesn't know it, he was very purposefully supplied with some of these to give him something to hold onto, and consequently make him easier to control. The need for those bonds is intrinsic for Haise, and he believes that even if someone has been held at a distance from the world, there's something universally human about that need for attachment.
Sieglinde's practically said it herself: Masamune's absence weighs on her. Those bonds matter]
Not make up for, no. [He clarifies after a short pause, deciding how best to articulate it] No one can occupy his space. But in times when you feel the absence of someone you're close to, there can be a comfort in having others around, and giving yourself time to process that change. If one of our associates were injured badly, you wouldn't tell them to ignore it, right?
[And maybe that's too abstract, the way he says it. But by now, Haise knows they don't exactly see things eye to eye. It's not something he minds, but times like these, he can only hope he can find the right way to convey his point, for her sake]
And Sonia's got a point...you've given a lot to others. I know that from experience, and in this area, I think maybe there's something I can do for a change. Things like this are something I understand, and your experience is something she can understand.
[With their powers combined, they're a support base, or something]
I agree. No one friend can replace another, but another can offer a hand when you cannot focus on anything else. Do you truly think, that even as someone of my position, I only did my work? One of my greatest passions is watching television, to take in the lives of others to perhaps understand a little of the lives my subjects may hold so I may understand what is best for them. Being alone is not good for anyone.
In fact, I will share one secret with you. [ Her voice softens even further. ] My friends at home, some of them rather, are locked in a pod in a coma. They are unable to wake up. I may make friends here, but none of the friends here will replace those waiting for me at home. It is just a matter of waiting until we meet again.
Perhaps, one day, you will be able to see your friend again. When that happens, I am sure that they would prefer to know that you did not close in on yourself either.
[ It's a lot of words, probably too much information, but she wants to drive the point home. ]
[It is something like the sensation one experiences when listening to someone speak a language you only half understand, and Sieglinde can only watch impassively as the two made their cases, talking of comfort and distractions and company and secrets, all things that she hardly denied worked.
But they were for other people. Weaker people. Less dutiful people. People who weren't her, because she was supposed to be able to work no matter what, and not need anyone, and not let anyone see her upset.
Yet what is she supposed to do? If she were to slam the door in their faces she would be branded childish, something done all too easily with how small she was... and though she hardly appreciates it at the moment, they both seemed... determined.
Sieglinde chokes down the desire to make a scathing rebuttal, to claim they knew nothing of her if they would make such silly assertions, and instead turns to go back into her room to retrieve some of her files, leaving the door open.]
Do as you please, then.
[If they step through the threshhold, the eyes of her skull-faced familiar would be the first to greet them, glowing softly in the candlelit semi-darkness of the room, one filled to the brim and cluttered with books, vials, chemicals, files, and all manner of witch-like paraphernalia.]
[It's grudging, Haise knows, but it's still acquiescence, and he'll take what he can get. He gestures for Sonia to enter the room before he follows suit, pausing along the way to gently pat Isengrim's skull head. They'd seen quite a bit of each other back on Perdition's Rest, and he's glad to see no signs of the injuries that had been present after a certain incident.
Seeing as Sieglinde's desk is quite occupied, Haise finds an alternative surface to set the tray down on, making use of an end-table. That will do for their purposes, he thinks, not wanting to displace anything]
I thought cocoa might be nice, given the chill weather.
[And if Sieglinde is at all interested in the rest of what's arrayed on that tray, among the snacks she's already observed are ones for Isengrim. Can't neglect one of her friends, especially when he's right there, after all... Though he isn't sure if the same recipe he'd used for Riza's pet would appeal to a different sort of creature]
[ Sonia moves inside first after Haise gestures and instantly moves towards Isengrim out of curiousity. She's quiet about it at least, her cheeks flushing as she hovers after Haise is done to start petting him as well. She doesn't want to hover too close to Sieglinde just yet after she only just agreed to let them in.
She only spends a minute or two there though, before she takes in Sieglinde's room properly. ]
You truly have an amazing collection here.
[ She whispers it though, not wanting to break the atmosphere that already feels fragile. ]
[Sieglinde might not be paying a lot of attention, but Isengrim sure is. The skull-faced dog didn't... have a nose, so much as an exposed naval cavity, but it's sense of smell was somehow still present, and the creature lifts its head to stare at the tray expectantly. Slowly, it accepts her touch as its gaze moves between Sonia and the snacks.
Waiting.
Sieglinde, for her part, seems to still be intent on this only being a business call, moving to her desk to begin rifling through papers. It's an absolute mess just looking at it, but she seems to know where most things are, gathering various documents into a file with her back to her company.]
Indeed. It is nothing compared to my workshop in my manor, but with enough time I suppose I will rebuild.
[She had stopped along the way, thinking about returning to her world. Even though she'd known someone who had been returned... almost everyone was merely transferred to another team. And even if there was a possibility... it wasn't somewhere she wished to go back to.
... She also wouldn't completely refuse cocoa, but that didn't need to be said.]
[Since Haise takes notice of the rather pointed attention, he picks up one of the snacks from the tray and kneels to offer it to Isengrim. If the apparent interest is anything to go by, it may be a suitable snack after all, and that would be very good to know for future reference. The cocoa of course is there for Sieglinde to take, a canister of whipped cream stationed beside a steaming mug]
Would a workspace like that be more useful to you?
[He had always preferred the desk in his room when he was working back home, so he can imagine that it might be the same for someone else. It seems that Sieglinde gets plenty done as it stands, but having the right environment might be beneficial too.
Granted, he's more concerned with her emotional state than with work, but it seems like an easy subject to begin with]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She's walking down the hall when she sees Haise, carrying the tray in his hands. ]
Ah! Good day... are you going somewhere?
[ It's hard to say if he's just heading back to his room, but there are too mugs on his tray... ]
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Good to see you, Sonia. [The return greeting naturally comes with good cheer] I was just going to stop in and check on Sieglinde...she shoulders a considerable amount for just one person, and I know she tends not to complain of it.
[Much less ask for assistance, or accept it. He found it a marvel that she'd actually reached out to people earlier, and naturally was glad for it, but he knows that she's not reaching out for everything she could use]
in b4 it just looks like we're logging in sieg's inbox--
It seems like she does, yes. If... you do not mind might I join you? I will need to leave these in my room, but I can catch up if necessary. It will only take a moment.
[ Because she knows that at times she wishes someone would peek past the mask she puts up to offer a hand like this, and if she can help in anyway she can--she will. ]
I have an idea that may work to help her relax.
we gonna bring the log at sieg...in her inbox...yes...
[Haise says this with the same easy smile, like he's commenting about the weather. The fact of the matter is that Sieglinde can be quite stubborn with regards to shows of personal weakness or even emotion, and that may well be owed to her upbringing and the era from whence she came...but that doesn't mean it's right.
It also doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve to be given support, especially when she's given so much to others a freely as she has]
I can wait here for you, if it won't be long.
dgkjds soon.... clenches fish.... coming 4 u sieg
[ She gives him a small nod. ]
I shall not be longer than a few minutes.
[ In fact, she doesn't say goodbye or anything and instead runs back towards her room instead. It's hard with all the papers she doesn't want to lose, but she only needs to drop them on her desk and grab the blanket after quickly folding it up.
She's a little breathless when she makes it back to him, blanket tucked in her arms this time. It's the same one she spent most of her money on in Perdition's Rest, the most expensive in the store at the time probably because it had travelled with them. ]
Okie dokie, I am ready!
jaws theme intensifies
[Haise turns then, guiding them along to Sieglinde's room. It's not very far from where he'd been waiting for Sonia. Once they arrive, he passes the tray to one hand so he can knock on the door, mentally noting that he'll need to fetch another mug.
At least with Sonia here, he can be sure he can get back into the room once he's done that]
Sieglinde, are you busy?
[To be fair, he wasn't a total liar about the nature of his visit...he did write down questions about how to take care of the gift she'd given him]
shit shit shit
Why must you continue to ask me foolish questions, Haise, I am always-
[Halfway through her complaint, though, Sieglinde realizes they aren't alone, stumbling to a halt and just. Staring until she comes up with something to say.]
... Sonia.
[What was she doing here? What was this?]
DUN DUN DUN
I met with Haise on the way here and thought it might be a good idea to watch something together. You may not be aware, but there is a new "app" on the magitek. I would like to introduce you to it. I also believe I made a promise to introduce my friends as well, though I think they are still napping now. The library seems to tire them out more than expected.
[ They just get bored lbr ]
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He glances Sonia's way when she explains, and now he know what her idea was. It seems like a good one, something that provides Sieglinde with company and a distraction, which both look like something that she could use right about now.
Granted, they'll have to see if she'll go along with it]
A new app, huh...
[He's not sure what kind of feature it is, but it could work]
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... I am afraid no matter what one can now view on the magitech, I am far too busy to waste time at the moment.
[If this had been before she'd walked in to Masamune's room, excited to show him the spell she'd been working on only to find it empty, the man who had been the most important person to her in the Outside World transferred, perhaps it would have been easier to sell her on entertainment... but.
There was only one thing she'd learned from birth that was a sure way to avoid falling into despair, and that was consuming one's life with work.]
I am also too busy to waste time on intricate tricks...
[That's for you, Haise. Was this some weird elaborate ruse?]
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That is quite alright, I am able to go through what I found in the library earlier as well, if necessary.
[ Sonia's own lack of sleep is covered with the make up she received last month, but she'll run out eventually. Sadly for Sieglinde, she does not look her normal self at all. Not like the ball, not like the post. Sonia hums softly as she holds onto the edges of the blanket and lets it drop. ]
You should at least keep warm while you are working, it is better for the circulation.
[ The way she carefully avoids Haise's tray to shift the blanket around Sieglinde is gentle, and she tugs it around her until it's closed at the front. ]
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This time, as with Zeta-12, it seems like a way to distract herself, productive as it may be]
I did bring a list...but it also occurred to me that you might accept a snack.
[He lowers the tray enough for Sieglinde to see that he at least delivered on his word there. It's true that he had every intention of trying to help her work through the loss of a teammate, but he thinks she was aware on some level that he was going to try. Her suspicion suggested that much to him, anyway]
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Not having expected to suddenly have a blanket draped on her, Sieglinde freezes in consternation, brow furrowing in a look Sonia may not yet recognize, but Haise may be familiar with. For eleven of her twelve years of life, Sieglinde was treated as an adult- never coddled or allowed to give in to emotion or childish whims that would interfere with duties and responsibilities befitting a far older woman... and for her year in ALASTAIR, she has hardly ever been afforded what to her seemed to be the same respect.
Though she tries to give a modicum of it herself, even with the thin thread that is her patience since her discovery of a certain samurai's absence. She waits to appraise the food she was being offered before she haltingly removes the blanket and begins refolding it.]
... Princess Sonia. I do not know if the culture of your country is simply different than mine own, but I do not need to be tucked in at my doorstep.
[The Green Witch was occasionally something like a different entity, with a different stance and voice, and Sieglinde straightens slightly, looking the both of them in the eye.]
I also do not need this... front. If you've intentions, do unmask them.
[You showed up with a movie, a woman, blankets, and food, Haise- of course she suspects.]
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Sieglinde, you should be aware that is not my intention. [ Her own voice is actually a tad colder than either have heard from her before. ] After all, I am more familiar with the customs you are familiar with than many others. It is a scientific fact, and I am asking as a friend that you take this for the time being. It is more comfortable than the sheets that ALASTAIR have given us and warmer.
[ Her voice softens a little after that. ] You also promised to show me the results of your bloodwork on Graham, I would like to collect that information as well. I hope you did not forget?
[ No matter what Sieglinde might put her stance into, Sonia is sadly used to being top of the heirarchy that she'll even add this on if she has to. It isn't a lie, and actually it would help her considering she just took a bunch of notes back to her room. Once she's done here she can go over what she's researched already even if it comes to naught. ]
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Then I must thank you for the sentiment, but I assure you if I were cold I would wear a coat. This fabric looks very flammable.
[She's starting to get that itch at the nape of her neck- the one that forewarned her when Olivia was going to start talking about relying on each other and feelings, or when Haise was going to start waxing poetic about the virtues of love over superior procreation. She casts a glance his way, but unless he says something to change her mind-]
Do wait here and I shall retrieve them for you. Haise, perhaps I should take your notes and I shall return them answered in due time?
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I think you know already. [Still, if she wants to hear it-] But just after enlisting help, it looks like you've mired yourself in work again, after losing someone I know you care about. In times like that...there's a benefit to having others around. If you push yourself aside enough times, it adds up, and one day, even work won't be enough to make you forget.
[Sieglinde's itch wasn't wrong, but at least Haise can speak of this matter from experience and not theory. He's spent so long denying his feelings to himself, more than anyone else, tamping them down and ignoring them and imagining something better. Now that he's had his time away from the stresses of his own reality, he can see it more clearly]
Maybe...maybe I can't help you with your work. But I can be there, and I know that working with a clear mind is better than doing so with a troubled one.
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I would like to add something to that. [ Her fingers dig into the blanket. ] You are working to help both yourself and others here, correct? Should you block people out entirely, how will you know what they need help with? [ Her face softens into a smile. ] People of our status are to remain distant, yes, but still approachable. No matter how we feel. I had thought that being around someone who understood better than most would be of use, perhaps with a distraction a little lighter so you may sleep soundly tonight. It is what I do before falling asleep now the option is available.
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But Olivia's words, for some reason upset with her, (probably for another of her failings, failing to understand friends), are ringing in her ears still, and Sieglinde tries to pause. Closes her eyes. Inhales. Exhales.]
... so the both of you think that your presence will somehow allow me to work better? Somehow make up for Masamune's transfer?
[One of the benefits to growing up in a village like she had was that no one had ever left. No one had ever died. She'd never had to deal with things like loss, before ALASTAIR, before Gilgamesh, before... Masamune.
Didn't know what one was supposed to do with the gaping hole in her heart. Didn't know why people kept saying they could do something about it, when they weren't him.]
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And though he doesn't know it, he was very purposefully supplied with some of these to give him something to hold onto, and consequently make him easier to control. The need for those bonds is intrinsic for Haise, and he believes that even if someone has been held at a distance from the world, there's something universally human about that need for attachment.
Sieglinde's practically said it herself: Masamune's absence weighs on her. Those bonds matter]
Not make up for, no. [He clarifies after a short pause, deciding how best to articulate it] No one can occupy his space. But in times when you feel the absence of someone you're close to, there can be a comfort in having others around, and giving yourself time to process that change. If one of our associates were injured badly, you wouldn't tell them to ignore it, right?
[And maybe that's too abstract, the way he says it. But by now, Haise knows they don't exactly see things eye to eye. It's not something he minds, but times like these, he can only hope he can find the right way to convey his point, for her sake]
And Sonia's got a point...you've given a lot to others. I know that from experience, and in this area, I think maybe there's something I can do for a change. Things like this are something I understand, and your experience is something she can understand.
[With their powers combined, they're a support base, or something]
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In fact, I will share one secret with you. [ Her voice softens even further. ] My friends at home, some of them rather, are locked in a pod in a coma. They are unable to wake up. I may make friends here, but none of the friends here will replace those waiting for me at home. It is just a matter of waiting until we meet again.
Perhaps, one day, you will be able to see your friend again. When that happens, I am sure that they would prefer to know that you did not close in on yourself either.
[ It's a lot of words, probably too much information, but she wants to drive the point home. ]
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But they were for other people. Weaker people. Less dutiful people. People who weren't her, because she was supposed to be able to work no matter what, and not need anyone, and not let anyone see her upset.
Yet what is she supposed to do? If she were to slam the door in their faces she would be branded childish, something done all too easily with how small she was... and though she hardly appreciates it at the moment, they both seemed... determined.
Sieglinde chokes down the desire to make a scathing rebuttal, to claim they knew nothing of her if they would make such silly assertions, and instead turns to go back into her room to retrieve some of her files, leaving the door open.]
Do as you please, then.
[If they step through the threshhold, the eyes of her skull-faced familiar would be the first to greet them, glowing softly in the candlelit semi-darkness of the room, one filled to the brim and cluttered with books, vials, chemicals, files, and all manner of witch-like paraphernalia.]
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Seeing as Sieglinde's desk is quite occupied, Haise finds an alternative surface to set the tray down on, making use of an end-table. That will do for their purposes, he thinks, not wanting to displace anything]
I thought cocoa might be nice, given the chill weather.
[And if Sieglinde is at all interested in the rest of what's arrayed on that tray, among the snacks she's already observed are ones for Isengrim. Can't neglect one of her friends, especially when he's right there, after all... Though he isn't sure if the same recipe he'd used for Riza's pet would appeal to a different sort of creature]
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She only spends a minute or two there though, before she takes in Sieglinde's room properly. ]
You truly have an amazing collection here.
[ She whispers it though, not wanting to break the atmosphere that already feels fragile. ]
Is this where you usually work?
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Waiting.
Sieglinde, for her part, seems to still be intent on this only being a business call, moving to her desk to begin rifling through papers. It's an absolute mess just looking at it, but she seems to know where most things are, gathering various documents into a file with her back to her company.]
Indeed. It is nothing compared to my workshop in my manor, but with enough time I suppose I will rebuild.
[She had stopped along the way, thinking about returning to her world. Even though she'd known someone who had been returned... almost everyone was merely transferred to another team. And even if there was a possibility... it wasn't somewhere she wished to go back to.
... She also wouldn't completely refuse cocoa, but that didn't need to be said.]
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Would a workspace like that be more useful to you?
[He had always preferred the desk in his room when he was working back home, so he can imagine that it might be the same for someone else. It seems that Sieglinde gets plenty done as it stands, but having the right environment might be beneficial too.
Granted, he's more concerned with her emotional state than with work, but it seems like an easy subject to begin with]
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jesus it was my turn
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i kept avoiding this thread because sieg is a party pooper
no worries, if the thread's tough we can handwave or so
what ren said!!! i am cool with that too
it's okay sieg is a butt so it's wrapping up anyway