I was thinking the same thing. If I'm right in my figuring, I should be able to keep working for a few more weeks before everything becomes unbearable. There are places I can use in the quarantine area to keep researching, I'll have easy access for testing, and I can send any data along to you.
Don't worry. It's unfortunate that this has happened to us, but I'm not about to take any chances on it happening to you too.
You don't have to worry about that. I've managed to keep complete control over myself for years. About minor things, of course, but it's still a practiced discipline that should come in handy.
[the quietest, darkest part of him wonders if possibly he deserves this on some level. it's silenced by his logic, choked out before he even dares voice it, but it still hovers.
and he ignores it.]
We're close to breakthrough, at least. We've come too far for it to be undone by this. That alone should keep me going.
[in order to not be found out, she tries to keep her replies fast- but she can't help the small gaps of time between messages. Maybe it will just seem like she's busy.]
Such experience will hopefully serve you well.
I am sure we are on the cusp of something. The Rammsteiner and Mustermann blood samples are looking promisingly resistant.
I was hoping they would be. It's quite fortunate we have so many in Audentes with unique antibodies.
[yes talk shop. that'll distract from the feelings. the blame and regret. and, more importantly, the fact that he's genuinely sorry that Sieglinde has to suffer anymore worry.]
It was a heavy gamble that anyone would be immune at all- with Zymandis behind it, it could very easily be so foreign no one can fight against it. I'll attribute that to why I wasn't immune.
[it's not that shinigami are incapable of falling ill, but stronger souls have stronger resistance. not everyone has Ukitake's stupid Mimihagi TB.]
We were lucky in that regard, and lucky to have such talented minds working on it. You've done remarkable work, Sieglinde-san. I'll try not to leave you the last of us standing.
[well that's a thought isn't it? he can't imagine what it's been like for her, having been here so much longer, but even in his short time here, he's lost acquaintances and people he would have called friends.]
I would imagine it's about the same, if they're just transferred out and not returning home. It's not as if ALASTAIR is giving them desk jobs or retirement packages.
[She's had two birthdays here with ALASTAIR... it's been nearly two years. Something she'd never expected. Something she sometimes thought might still be wrong.]
In my time here, I have known personally of only on recruit who was supposedly sent home.
The key word being "supposedly," though I imagine they have no reason to lie about it when it's just as easy to say they transferred out.
Still, those aren't good odds for the rest of us. I don't care about going back just yet, but I suppose I will, eventually, and it won't really matter. Not without knowing what the criteria for gaining special treatment is.
[he's curious- he always is, everything about Sieglinde being such a mystery beyond what she's said. and to be honest, he believes quite a bit of it is fabrication of a sort. there are threads that can be unraveled if you yank too hard on them. he just tends to resist the urge.]
You've surely earned that right. I can't imagine they would deny you if you asked.
[and she thinks she's not kind. well, that makes two of them, anyway.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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But that doesn't make it easier.
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She can appear like it doesn't upset her if it's text.]
In that case, it may be prudent to work separately as much as possible from now on. There are very few of us with the minds for this sort of work.
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Don't worry. It's unfortunate that this has happened to us, but I'm not about to take any chances on it happening to you too.
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As long as your mind remains largely present it should not be a problem.
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[the quietest, darkest part of him wonders if possibly he deserves this on some level. it's silenced by his logic, choked out before he even dares voice it, but it still hovers.
and he ignores it.]
We're close to breakthrough, at least. We've come too far for it to be undone by this. That alone should keep me going.
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Such experience will hopefully serve you well.
I am sure we are on the cusp of something. The Rammsteiner and Mustermann blood samples are looking promisingly resistant.
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[yes talk shop. that'll distract from the feelings. the blame and regret. and, more importantly, the fact that he's genuinely sorry that Sieglinde has to suffer anymore worry.]
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[Isn't it nice to be on the same Not Talk About It page... he gets it. Shove your feelings under rugs and ignore all distractions.
For work.
(Until you break.)]
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[it's not that shinigami are incapable of falling ill, but stronger souls have stronger resistance. not everyone has Ukitake's stupid Mimihagi TB.]
We were lucky in that regard, and lucky to have such talented minds working on it. You've done remarkable work, Sieglinde-san. I'll try not to leave you the last of us standing.
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Thank you.
It would be appreciated.
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[a beat and then he adds, in a different text:]
That part is always inevitable, isn't it? And I can't fix everything at once. I can only tell them where to point their efforts and hope it works.
[being an insufferable know-it-all is hard work, especially when he's been right fairly consistently. even if he's wrong, they'll be no worse off.]
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I know it is a consequence of our... recruitments, but it frustrates.
It is a shame we cannot be every which where at once.
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I do not know if that is for the better or worse.
Or if ALASTAIR simple shuffles about so that we will be slow to realize how few of us are returned home.
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I would imagine it's about the same, if they're just transferred out and not returning home. It's not as if ALASTAIR is giving them desk jobs or retirement packages.
It's not comforting, I know.
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In my time here, I have known personally of only on recruit who was supposedly sent home.
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Still, those aren't good odds for the rest of us. I don't care about going back just yet, but I suppose I will, eventually, and it won't really matter. Not without knowing what the criteria for gaining special treatment is.
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[That's just as "supposedly" as everything else.]
If I will grow old and die here then so be it, but there is something I must see told to my people, at the very least.
I can not waver on that.
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You've surely earned that right. I can't imagine they would deny you if you asked.
[and she thinks she's not kind. well, that makes two of them, anyway.]
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[If they got off this world.
If she ever finds that cure to tell her world of at all.]