[It will--or a deflection, at least. On some level, Anthy knows that being this honest with someone she doesn't know at all is a mistake. On another level, it's . . . easier, in some ways, to be honest with a stranger. Maybe they'll never speak to each other again. Maybe Sieglinde will die soon. Maybe lots of things.]
[She feels neutral about this whole conversation, with maybe a tinge of hope. A shiny lining that will turn out to either be silver or aluminum.]
I suppose you could say that he's the devil. Although I love him very much.
[She understands this, at least intellectually. She still isn't sure how she feels about her own loss, other than triumphant. To lose family that hurts you shouldn't still hurt, but it does.]
Do you still love them, too? [Is that normal? She's starting to think it might be.]
[It was painful. But Sieglinde still isn't sure if that pain came from actually losing them, or just the realisation of how fake her entire world had been.
You can't really lose something you thought you'd never had, she supposed.]
The part of me from before I knew, perhaps.
[But they'd never loved her, so... it made it fine.]
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That is true. Some do. But I know there are many among us who would rather not be here.
I think only an ignorant woman would like being a witch. But it is not something I can regret being made into. I do not know how it is in your world.
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I am the only witch in my world. The witch, not a witch. It's difficult. But I don't regret it because I can't imagine anything else. It's part of me.
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... you are the only one? What of your mother? Your clan?
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I don't have a mother. I have a brother. But he isn't a witch. He's something else.
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[Sieglinde asks, simply assuming that if she asks too much, her curiosity will be met with a refusal.]
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[She feels neutral about this whole conversation, with maybe a tinge of hope. A shiny lining that will turn out to either be silver or aluminum.]
I suppose you could say that he's the devil. Although I love him very much.
What's it like to have a clan? Do you like it?
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Which version of the tale should she tell? Lying to another witch leaves a bad taste in her mouth, so though it isn't the whole truth,]
My mother and the rest of the clan strayed from the tenants of the Green Witch. To heal, not hurt.
Before I knew that, I was happy. But they are dead now, either way.
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I'm sorry. It's painful to lose family.
[She understands this, at least intellectually. She still isn't sure how she feels about her own loss, other than triumphant. To lose family that hurts you shouldn't still hurt, but it does.]
Do you still love them, too? [Is that normal? She's starting to think it might be.]
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You can't really lose something you thought you'd never had, she supposed.]
The part of me from before I knew, perhaps.
[But they'd never loved her, so... it made it fine.]
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And here--people don't mind a witch? As long as you heal?
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As long as one is not maliciously hurting others intentionally... they are strangely forgiving.
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am not a naturally benevolent person.
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What are you, then? Naturally.
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I don't remember.
[It's the truth, albeit not a very clear one.]
I don't know the right words to use. [Angry? Lonely? Bitter? No, those are all too revealing.] Tired, I think.
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[Of so many things women who did not bear that title had to face.]
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[Still. This is. Kind of nice to hear? Feels weird.]
I appreciate that you . . . understand what I mean, I suppose. [This means thank you-ish.]
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[To accusations of magic and devil worship and harlotry and the like, but. Still.]
Of course.
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It is. But witches are villains, so every little wrong thing about them stacks up in the public eye.
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Thankfully, you have less to fear here. And if you feel more comfortable, you need not reveal that part of your nature.
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Will you tell?
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I would like people to know, someday. But it seems like a dream for now. That it wouldn't feel like asking for destruction.