[What he says is... in a word, terrifying. Since her recruitment, Sieglinde has always wrestled with the fear that when she is returned to her world she might not be able to remember what she has experienced. More importantly... what she had learned.
And though she knows it is selfish, that she should ask first about what he went through in his world, the problem he encountered...]
How... how vague were your memories of that time... ?
[That is the opposite of hopeful, and he realizes that the second he sees her expression. For the incentive to not be given- to just return home and maybe never return...
That would be cruel. He knows it's not the case, at least as far as he's been assured, and he has no reason to doubt them just yet. Perhaps he should have started with that.] I can't be certain. It's strange being here and remembering everything, while trying to recall being there and remembering nothing, but I was assured it was just a blip when I arrived. That were I to decide to go home, I would remember everything.
I could choose to go right back home now if I wanted to, and I'd suddenly have memories of this place mixed with the old.
Of course. It wasn’t like she couldn’t believe it. The timeline, all these worlds and all these absences and all these events... even though she’d dedicated a good deal of her first year to attempting to understand it, she still couldn’t. It was beyond her training, her mind, her experiences with the harder sciences disguised as magic.
But even though a blip was still terrifying to her, for all its chaotic and unpredictable potential... she tries to swallow it. This isn’t about that-]
Then... how was your trip home?
[As if it were a vacation, a jaunt. As if she didn’t know that it could not have been, if he’d come here like this.]
I wish I could tell you it was all pleasant, but things aren't so great there. War is a very ugly thing, Sieglinde-san, but I hardly need to tell you that.
It would have been more responsible to insist I be sent back, but I thought I could figure out a way to turn the tides if I had more time. [And that was his excuse for moving on with Hathaway too. There's always an excuse. Always a problem to be solved.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
And though she knows it is selfish, that she should ask first about what he went through in his world, the problem he encountered...]
How... how vague were your memories of that time... ?
no subject
That would be cruel. He knows it's not the case, at least as far as he's been assured, and he has no reason to doubt them just yet. Perhaps he should have started with that.] I can't be certain. It's strange being here and remembering everything, while trying to recall being there and remembering nothing, but I was assured it was just a blip when I arrived. That were I to decide to go home, I would remember everything.
I could choose to go right back home now if I wanted to, and I'd suddenly have memories of this place mixed with the old.
no subject
Of course. It wasn’t like she couldn’t believe it. The timeline, all these worlds and all these absences and all these events... even though she’d dedicated a good deal of her first year to attempting to understand it, she still couldn’t. It was beyond her training, her mind, her experiences with the harder sciences disguised as magic.
But even though a blip was still terrifying to her, for all its chaotic and unpredictable potential... she tries to swallow it. This isn’t about that-]
Then... how was your trip home?
[As if it were a vacation, a jaunt. As if she didn’t know that it could not have been, if he’d come here like this.]
no subject
It would have been more responsible to insist I be sent back, but I thought I could figure out a way to turn the tides if I had more time. [And that was his excuse for moving on with Hathaway too. There's always an excuse. Always a problem to be solved.]