[ because having a manslave you can take advantage of works wonders for the mood ok did those books reach you anything right??? ]
I'm not going to talk to you like a child over this. I want you to know ultimately you are not going to receive an "I was wrong, I won't do anything like it again." But, I feel you may have felt before when I would not accept the blame of your words that I was, instead, placing it on you. That is not what you will get, either, unless you really only want to believe it on your own.
If you still will hear me out knowing this, then I'll do my best.
[Goddamnit everyone who isn't her gets to have all the fun.]
Good- I am hardly one.
[Not really. Not any longer. Not for a long time.
She doesn't really like where this is going- he says he won't apologize- say he was wrong. She's come into this conversation prepared, though, and she can keep herself stony faced for now.]
If I'm not to receive a proper apology then do explain. I'm interested to hear how it might sway me more than a single sentence would.
You only said he was dangerous and I should stay away- that sort of vagueness. If you want me to give it proper weight you had best explain how you know these things and why he is dangerous.
[ he supposes it's vague but not intentionally... he assumes some of this would be safely assumed. But, maybe he relies too much on that thought process. ]
He's from the same world as me. In addition to a renowned reputation, he has had his eyes on my swords and my Right-Eye for some time, now. I already told you why though, didn't I ? You were offended when I said you weren't capable of keeping him out of your head.
[The first part is better- alright. She obviously assumed he was of the same world, but better to know that he was after certain things, and what they were. The swords. Kojuro.
He will make you doubt yourself no matter how many times you deny it. He always is willing to take it one step further than your limit. If he finds out you are important to me he doesn't need to know anything else about you.
You don't even trust me as it is. So perhaps him convincing you further won't bother you. But what if during that you slip a small hint of something about others or yourself? He has no issue weaving his topics to find which one suits to causing you trouble best.the less you speak with him, the less words he has opportunity with.
[ Man, what a bratty front. He sighs, not sure if he is as ready to deal with the attitude as he thought he was but too late now. ]
I'm sorry that it hurt you that I went and asked about your notes without ever trying to ask you first for the knowledge I was looking for. And I'm sorry it has made you even more distrustful of me and my intentions.
[... She takes a moment on that one. Considering her upbringing and how she'd been treated, up until the... betrayal of her entire world, no one had really crossed her. She'd never needed to hear apologies or forgive because people didn't do things to hurt her.
So what did you do with them? Why didn't they make it better just like that?]
[ A child wants apologies but doesn't even know how to accept them or otherwise deal with them. Why is he not surprised. He can't even feel disappointed that's the response she came up with. ]
[She doesn't know what to do when the obvious etiquette is to say "You are forgiven", but part of her doesn't want to forgive. Not yet. He's managed to think, and so has she, but to her it still hurts, rather fresh yet.]
If there is anything else you would have known to influence my decision, I will hear that as well. If not, I must deliberate.
No, not for how you should feel on the matter and me. I'll let you do your thing, then.
But, before I go and unrelated to being for your consideration, you do need to understand one thing, if nothing else.
I can't help that you've been become important to me and neither can you. That means forgiving me or hating me or whatever doesn't change a single thing other than I have to go about my decisions a different way. For everything that's happened, it's not you that I don't trust. It's what your mother has done to you. So, it's why I can't say I was wrong or anything like that. Protecting you is more important to me than you liking me. Protecting you is also worth more lives than even your creation can take.
I'm not saying I won't upset or hurt you emotionally in the future-- it isn't anything anyone can guarantee, that's the nature of relationships. But, I'm not meant to be the one you perpetually adore or like here on this team that has never done anything to upset you. I'm meant to be the one that makes sure nothing happens to you so you can continue to be able to decide things like that with how people treat you, to begin with. That's what family is willing to do for each other.
Besides, I'm not really a person someone like you can like, anyway. So it might be easier on you to stop trying so hard to find reason for it and be fine with whatever you feel.
[ he isn't upset when he speaks, but it's difficult for him to say all the same. And while he isn't particularly upset by it, he also has no desire to hear a reactive response to it, so he will end the conversation there just as he said he would by terminating his connection. ]
[Sieglinde can't be sure at what point during his speech that she starts crying. Sometime after "protecting you is more important" and before "what family is willing to do for each other".
She draws in to herself, fingers curling and fisting in her skirts, tucking in her chin and trying to hide it.
But she doesn't say anything to stop him from hanging up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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because having a manslave you can take advantage of works wonders for the mood ok]did those books reach you anything right???
I'm not going to talk to you like a child over this. I want you to know ultimately you are not going to receive an "I was wrong, I won't do anything like it again." But, I feel you may have felt before when I would not accept the blame of your words that I was, instead, placing it on you. That is not what you will get, either, unless you really only want to believe it on your own.
If you still will hear me out knowing this, then I'll do my best.
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Goddamnit everyone who isn't her gets to have all the fun.]Good- I am hardly one.
[Not really. Not any longer. Not for a long time.
She doesn't really like where this is going- he says he won't apologize- say he was wrong. She's come into this conversation prepared, though, and she can keep herself stony faced for now.]
If I'm not to receive a proper apology then do explain. I'm interested to hear how it might sway me more than a single sentence would.
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But this isn't a situation that is so black and white that you can apply simple logic of right and wrong like you are trying to convey.
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[Because to her, he may have had reasons- but the fact that she didn't acknowledge those reasons as logical meant she felt he was... just wrong.]
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I got a feeling you felt I didn't give you a satisfactory answer to your question about Matsunaga Hisahide. Do you want to elaborate?
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He's from the same world as me. In addition to a renowned reputation, he has had his eyes on my swords and my Right-Eye for some time, now. I already told you why though, didn't I ? You were offended when I said you weren't capable of keeping him out of your head.
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But.]
And you will stand by what you said about that?
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[Is that better or worse]
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[ he pauses. ] ... You should read our conversation if you haven't. Maybe you'll get a better idea, maybe you won't.
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[She'll check the conversation, but.]
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You don't even trust me as it is. So perhaps him convincing you further won't bother you. But what if during that you slip a small hint of something about others or yourself? He has no issue weaving his topics to find which one suits to causing you trouble best.the less you speak with him, the less words he has opportunity with.
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[She had no plans to talk to the man again anyway, even if she wasn't about to forget Masamune calling her mentally unstable.]
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I'm sorry that it hurt you that I went and asked about your notes without ever trying to ask you first for the knowledge I was looking for. And I'm sorry it has made you even more distrustful of me and my intentions.
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So what did you do with them? Why didn't they make it better just like that?]
... Well, I am glad to hear you say that.
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[ A child wants apologies but doesn't even know how to accept them or otherwise deal with them. Why is he not surprised. He can't even feel disappointed that's the response she came up with. ]
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If there is anything else you would have known to influence my decision, I will hear that as well. If not, I must deliberate.
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But, before I go and unrelated to being for your consideration, you do need to understand one thing, if nothing else.
I can't help that you've been become important to me and neither can you. That means forgiving me or hating me or whatever doesn't change a single thing other than I have to go about my decisions a different way. For everything that's happened, it's not you that I don't trust. It's what your mother has done to you. So, it's why I can't say I was wrong or anything like that. Protecting you is more important to me than you liking me. Protecting you is also worth more lives than even your creation can take.
I'm not saying I won't upset or hurt you emotionally in the future-- it isn't anything anyone can guarantee, that's the nature of relationships. But, I'm not meant to be the one you perpetually adore or like here on this team that has never done anything to upset you. I'm meant to be the one that makes sure nothing happens to you so you can continue to be able to decide things like that with how people treat you, to begin with. That's what family is willing to do for each other.
Besides, I'm not really a person someone like you can like, anyway. So it might be easier on you to stop trying so hard to find reason for it and be fine with whatever you feel.
[ he isn't upset when he speaks, but it's difficult for him to say all the same. And while he isn't particularly upset by it, he also has no desire to hear a reactive response to it, so he will end the conversation there just as he said he would by terminating his connection. ]
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She draws in to herself, fingers curling and fisting in her skirts, tucking in her chin and trying to hide it.
But she doesn't say anything to stop him from hanging up.